apartment pictures.

These are all pictures of West Glen

February 19 (thoughts)

So a couple weeks ago I had about three dreams with Chris King in them. Nothing weird, and honestly I dont even remember what they were all about. Actually one of them we went to Cedar Point. but nonetheless I havent talked to him in several months, havent heard about him, thought about him, dreamt about him. So one day last week me and Ben are at WalMart and I get a text from him. It says, sorry to bother you, but do you still have my calculator? odd. Well I think I still do have his calculator that I borrowed more than a year ago. I actually have looked for it and cannot find it. But I think I still have it. I responded and told him I would look for it. So I thought I had found it so I texted him back telling him I found it and I would bring it to him or he could stop by my apartment to pick it up. After a few texts back and forth, including him seeing Ben at the bar and asking why I wasnt out with him, he asks if I want to go get coffee sometime and I could just give him the calculator then. Now, I tell Ben about the calculator thing and the texts and the coffee offer. Ben immediately tells me I will not go get coffee with him, which is understandable. The weird thing is, I kinda want to go. NOT because of romantic feelings, or even feelings of friendship, but just because I DONT like having enemies or even feeling like I have enemies. I know I am constantly criticized for wanting everyone to like me and whatever, but really I do. It sometimes bugs me that I cant like say hi or talk to him and its just this unnecessary weirdness. Also, if I could talk to Chris like a normal person, it just proves that we have both moved on. Also, I kind of want Ben to be slightly jealous but still let me go, because that means he trusts me, and many times I dont feel like he TRUELY trusts me. But then I think what if Chris starts acting weird, asking me questions about me and Ben, reflecting back on old times or just generally trying to guilt me like he sometimes did. I dont think it would bother me and honestly I would just leave, but still. I have been thinking about this and wonder if I'm in the wrong line of thinking here. maybe I'm stupid for even thinking of going. If I dont find his calculator, there is really much less reason to go....but if I do, how do I get it back to him without any interaction....and awkwardness.

Next thought process deals with Nicole and Ben and me in the middle. Nicole is moving into an apartment and finally getting out on her own and I'm so excited for her! a little over a month ago we had lunch and she told me she was having people over to show off her new place and hang out and just catch up. Well I was very excited about this and told her any day she wanted, I would be there. I bought her a card and had planned on taking her on a trip to Target to pick out a few things for her apartment as a late Bday/housewarming gift. Well I told Ben about it and all was fine. He did ask if he was invited, to which I responded that I wasnt sure. So then the official invitation comes in the mail and the date is February 28th. I write it on our calendar to remind me. We have different colored markers and I didnt realize it but I had written it in pink, which has been designated as things that apply to both me and Ben. Seeing this, he thought that maybe he had been invited to Nicole's party, and I said that the invite didnt say, and it was just adressed to me. He looked very sad and it made me sad as well. It frustrates him that my close friends wont even aknowlege his exhistence. So then he tells me that his fraternity's formal is that night also, and if I'm going to be in Des Moines with Nicole, he will just have one of our friends Jenn or Emily be his date. Frustrated, I ask him why he didnt tell me about this formal sooner?, he says he forgot about it, and that it was on Gmail calendar, which I dont use, and he thought he would just miss it if he had been invited to Nicole's. This has been the subject of much frustration and sadness for the past few weeks...and last night when I got a text from Nicole, he said "I dont even want to hear that name right now"....What do I do? I have been thinking that maybe I should tell Nicole I will come down Saturday afternoon and take her to lunch, Target, and then see her apt. but I have to leave after that. And that way I could somewhat accomplish both. But inside I am still frustrated with Ben. Why why why would you not tell me about your formal sooner? Nicole said we could do the gathering on Friday or Saturday whichever and I said Saturday. If Ben had just told me about the formal, I could have told Nicole Friday, and then gone to the formal on Saturday. SIGH.....Either way someone will be dissapointed. Obviously I want to make Ben happy first, but I feel like my efforts to keep other friendships going never work out like I want. I hate that Ben things that some of my friends are 'haters' as he calls them. I dont want him to dislike them.....I dont expect you to ACCEPT me and Ben but please just tollerate us. If you want to lose me as a friend then thats fine but I cant balance things the way I have for much longer.

February 19 (apartments/fish tank)

Last Friday me and Ben spent a day in Des Moines. The point of the journey was to look at a couple apartments, but also to just do some shopping and have a day to ourselves since I would be working on Valentines Day. We first went to look at West Glen aparments. We really like that they are close to many things. Walking distance from Target and some decent bars/restaurants. They are also just off the interstate so travel to/from jobs would be convenient. So we had high hopes for them. We met a woman named Wendy who was going to give us the tour. Wendy's hair was teased within an inch of its life and was hyped up on something. She introduces us to the fob, which is a little keycard that you need for EVERYTHING....right here I got a bad feeling. I need this little plastic thing to use the elevator, to open doors, to use the garage, everything. So that means friends come over, they cant just come up, I have to use my little card to let them in, same with pizza or anything. well...minor setback. We go to the apartment. Its a two-level, one bedroom, which I like. The kitchen isnt the biggest, nor is there really any space for much furniture (couch/table and its probably going to be full) there is also a space cut out of the wall for a TV. but its so small that nothing above 32 inch will fit. So thats a bust. We go upstairs though and I LOVE the bedroom. It has a huge closet and bathroom and they are very nice. So after the tour we're asking Wendy some questions. We can have dogs up to 30lbs.....well what if our dog gets bigger than that? I really really want a dog so any place that wont let me have one is not good. Also, no aquariums....well I just invested all this money in our aquarium and then I couldnt have it there? We then asked her about any fitness center, because I'm used to a free gym up here and want to continue that. Well she says Aspen is right downstairs, and while it would be a 'conflict of interest' for her to offer discounts to Aspen....she 'has heard if you mention you live at West Glen they take VERY good care of you'...whatever that means. We left West Glen feeling a bit dissapointed....oh and the rent was going to be $1200/mo. so thats kinda steep. We got lunch at Los Cabos then headed to Ingersoll Square. These are located on Ingersoll and MLK and are very new. We walk in and the look of the place is VERY modern, which is OK with me but Ben doesnt like. Everything is concrete and metal and very bold colors. So we meet our next tour guide and she is much more toned down from Wendy....I dont even remember her name....Jessica maybe? anyway she shows us the first style of one bedroom and I HATE it. the bedroom is right inside the front door and there is a sliding door going to it. it looks like a giant warehouse. Then we go to the second model, much better! all the floors are polished concrete, which I dont know how I feel about, and Ben doesnt like. the kitchen is awesome. Everything is from IKEA, which is good and bad. Sometimes IKEA stuff is kinda cheap, and their wardrobe's dont have much room. and we dont get a closet in the bedroom. The other thing is one side of the building faces downtown, so pretty view. The other sides....not so pretty view, and the windows are big which is also good, but bad too. So then we go tour of the rest of the place. Only one key for the front door which locks at ten, nice. We tour the fitness room, which is small but sufficient. The fitness room is connected to the club room. Which is this sweet room with a bunch of tables and couches and TV's and a kitchen that anyone can use. Also anyone can use the clubroom for parties, 'family gatherings' and whatever else, nice! the clubroom has a door to the pool deck, yes there is a pool and hot tub! we walk outside and our guide goes "oh! what is that?" and we look down to see a giant black bird head! not the whole body just a decapitated head! sadly our camera battery died before we could get a picture! the guide kept going "oh I'm so embarassed!" and kicked it off the pool deck. I couldn't stop laughing. So the pool/hot tub are nice. Also Ingersoll is a bit cheaper than West Glen, all pets are welcome. Bad things are the location and concrete floors. We then went back to my parents house and made a list of the positives and negatives for both places, so we could compare them and also to get a better idea of what we're looking for in future apartment tours.

As mentioned above, we recently got an aquarium which I have wanted my whole life! it is 35 gallons and a tall hexagon shape. We are just learning all this stuff and realizing you need so much stuff! and they are expensive! but currently we have 3 guppies. A blue one named Moon, a bright yellow one named Star, and a dark orange one named Sun. We love our fish and they have been alive for over 12 hours now and survived one feeding! I'm so freaking excited (surprise sue voice.....SNL skit)!

February 3

Kind of a lot has happened since I last posted. Lots of new direction in my thoughts about next year. So the short version is this. After the Career Fair, Ben and myself were left feeling a little dissapointed. No companies were hiring, none in Des Moines, and none that have locations in San Diego. BUT, then Ben found out the Navy was doing a lot of hiring! no enlisting, just civilian jobs. And we all know where the Navy does a lot of its business....San Diego! Ben put in his application and filled out this questionaire that asks you where you would like to be located (there were a few options, D.C. which I would NEVER live, Chicago and San Diego) well Ben put San Diego. The Navy job starts at 40 grand and after three years you make like 80. which is good! So as far as the move to CA goes....this is our last hope. With the economy like it is, if he doesnt get the Navy job, we are setting our sights on Des Moines (just temporary). Plus, Des Moines isnt that bad. I really like Des Moines actually....and maybe we're supposed to live in DSM. Get a bit of a start....not have to be broke....and then move out when we're ready! I'm not really dissapointed by this, actually in a weird sort of way I'm relieved. Going out into the real world is scary enough, but moving so far away is scary too. I think taking one step at a time is a good idea....and we're still young, we will get to CA soon! and if the Navy job works out then sweet! we can live in San Diego and be able to support ourselves then I'm ok with it. So if DSM is the plan we have a location that we are looking at, and actually are going to tour an appartment next friday. West Glen is kind of a new little area by Jordan Creek and we really liked the apartments from what we saw online. Also its really close to a lot of things. We could walk to Target, its right by the interstate for commuting and its new, trendy and classy! Hopefully we can get moved somewhere in June, either to Diego or DSM. in the mean time, I am still looking for jobs every other day. I've applied for a total of 7 jobs in the last few weeks, which I think is pretty good. I've applied for every job that looks even remotely interesting. Hoping hoping hoping to find somethign soon! Also we are going to get an aquarium! which is something I've always wanted! its 30 gallons which is pretty big and it comes with a stand and light and filter and all that for $50! so excited! and as SOOOOON as we figure out where we'll end up, its time to shop for a puppy!!!!! I just want to fast forward through this next four months....ugh. so much uncertainty with so much excitment at the end. One thing that I am very excited for in the next few months is the Britney Spears/Pussycat Dolls concert and seeing Casey! that will be SO fun...its not till April 3rd but I'm really lookign forward to it. Its sunny today, which makes me happy and feel energetic. Me and Ben are doing very well and getting along perfectly and working on getting caught up on LOST which I LOVE. Things are good and they'll only get better.
Right now I'm listening to a song by Faith Hill called Sunshine and Summertime. Its one of my favorite summer songs and when the sun is out I crank it and think of pool parties and blue skies. I love the sun. When it sets, it makes me want to follow it....out west....